Stuffing.

Don't get me started on why Thanksgiving Day is my favorite holiday. I go on and on about how people don't have to buy each other's affection with useless gifts. It's keen for the family just to be together for a nice dinner. Mine are the simple tastes. Except when it comes to turkey stuffing.

Right! I am about to slip you a recipe for Capt. Sunshine's Incredible Everything-but-the- Kitchen-Sink Turkey Stuffing. It is a marvelous mosaic of taste and texture.

This recipe is really an evolution. I have been fooling around with it for years. What follows not only has superb flavor, but it also produces an exotic mixture of aromas.

Stuffing is important. As Gertrude Stein might have said, "A turkey is a turkey is a turkey." But what goes inside gives the old bird character. It is a part of the Thanksgiving feast we all remember. Mine is unforgettable.

First, open a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry. Actually, any brand will do, but Harvey's is the best. Have yourself a little nip and then pour exactly 8 ounces into a measuring cup. Put it aside while you prepare the other ingredients.

Take 17 slices of dry white bread and 3 slices of dry pumpernickel. Cut into crouton-size cubes and place in a large mixing bowl. Sprinkle with 1 teaspoon pepper, 1 tablespoon salt and 1 tablespoon sage, thyme or poultry seasoning. Marjoram works OK, too.

Brown and crumble in a skillet one-half pound of bulk breakfast sausage and one-quarter pound of Italian bulk sausage.

After thoroughly mixing the sausage, remove with slotted spoon and put in the big bowl. Add 1 cup each of chopped celery, chopped onion and chopped walnuts. Throw in 3 tablespoons of parsley and 2 cups of sliced fresh mushrooms.

Add 1 tart crisp apple, peeled, cored and chopped. Granny Smiths are nice. So are Jonathans and Newtons.

I know what you are thinking. You are concerned about the pumpernickel and the Italian sausage. Just seems out of character, doesn't it? Trust me. And you probably want to saute the onions and celery. Don't.

Every time I make this stuffing, I am reminded of Chinese philosopher Lao-tse's observation about bean sprouts. "They should be firm but yielding," he wrote. So should the celery and onions in this dressing. The nuts and apple will retain a nice crispness, too.

Heat 1 cube of unsalted butter in 2 cups of chicken broth until the butter melts. Campbell's works fine. Pour the liquid into the bowl. Do not mix yet. There is one more important ingredient.

Right you are! It is the sherry. Never forget the sherry. Very carefully pour 3 tablespoons of sherry into the bowl. Sip away at the sherry you have reserved in the measuring cup.

Good old Harvey's. Here's to you, Harvey!

Carefully toss the stuffing with two wooden spoons until all ingredients are evenly mixed. Do not bruise the sausage! If mixture is too dry, add warm water.

Voila! It is done. Lightly stuff the bird fore and aft. You'll have dressing left over. Place it in a casserole dish, cover with foil, place in oven for the last hour of roasting time.

Drizzle on the giblet gravy.